Today I gave in and changed my Facebook profile to the Timeline format. Not that it was that big of a deal...I just hadn't gotten around to it yet. Like many others that have made this change, I spent (wasted) a lot of time this morning looking back at pictures from the last year. I'm discovering that this is not a wise thing to do unless I want to end up in a sloppy, crying mess on the couch. I can not believe how fast time flies. So many people told me this before the boys were born, but I didn't know how true it was until I became a mom. No, I don't wish that the boys were babies again...I love this time in their lives. And I am thankful that they are healthy and growing. But there is something about looking at baby pictures of your children that inevitably causes a lump in your throat. 

These pictures also reminded me of how blessed I am to have so much family close by. My pictures were filled with aunts, uncles, grandmas, cousins, etc. Not everyone is so fortunate. When Jack and Caleb were born, I had people everywhere wanting to help in any way they could. What else did these pictures remind me of? How much I didn't want any of that help. I wanted to do it all myself. I wanted everyone to see and understand that I could do it on my own.

Why was it so important for friends and family to know that? I have no idea. Kyle and I were talking the other night and I was trying to express how thankful I am for the people in our lives who love our boys and want to be with them. I asked if he remembered how I was at the beginning. He said of course he did...that I didn't even want him to help sometimes.

How foolish I was. I was so tired...so confused...so overwhelmed...so tired. Looking back, I know now how wrong I was for being so....I guess, prideful. I could do it by myself, and I was going to show everyone I could. I realize now that there was not one person who thought I couldn't do it. They just loved me and if they could help to make things a little easier, they were going to try.

It is safe to say I am over it. There is NO WAY I would turn down an offer of help. How wonderful for someone to take a moment out of their incredibly busy life to help me out to the car or put Jack's coat on while I'm putting on Caleb's. I guess I felt compelled to write to give advise to any new moms who may be feeling like they have something to prove. Yes, we know you can do it yourself. Accept the help! It's ok to take a nap. It's ok to sit in your pew at church and close your eyes and sing because someone else is holding your baby. It's ok to just carry the diaper bag out to the car because someone else is carrying your baby out for you. They're not worried that you can't do it without them. They've been in your position and know that it's just nice to have help.

Now please don't hand your baby to someone and go to Target for a couple hours...unless of course they're with their grandparents. :) But for heaven's sake, don't turn down someone who wants to make your life a little easier, if only for a few minutes.